I may start praying to the fence gods…

Because the new fence that was just erected in our yard will probably save both my sanity and physical wellbeing.

The first month or so we owned Forest, he never strayed more than a few feet from our side. It was adorable to watch him scramble after us with his stubby little puppy legs. Then one day, I was supervising his potty break when suddenly Forest ran towards the trash bags and recycling bin placed at the curb. I had never before seen him move so quickly in the opposite direction of a human being and was momentarily paralyzed with surprise. The next few moments could have easily been stolen from some cheesy Disney movie. The lovable puppy playfully leaps around the trash bags, unwittingly meandering into the street, directly in the path of an oncoming car. The beautiful, young dog owner sees the impending disaster and sprints across the yard with outstretched arms. Shouting a heart-wrenching "NOOOOOOOOOO" she throws herself in front of the car, heroically shielding the puppy with her own frail body. The car squeals to a stop, thus narrowly preventing a tragedy.

Unfortunately this totally happened to me. And it was my next-door neighbor driving the car so she easily identified the crazy lady jumping in front of her car as me. Luckily she's a cop and has great reflexes.

So if you've been paying attention, you'll notice that most of the outdoor photos posted on this blog fall into three categories: very young puppy off leash because we didn't know any better, mid-sized puppy on leash because I was totally paranoid he'd get squished by a car, and older puppy off leash again because, well, Nick made me. If it was totally up to me Forest would still be on a leash whenever he left our house, but Nick has convinced me that the puppy has matured and will most likely behave. And to Nick's credit Forest has done a pretty good job and coming when I call him…except for yesterday.

Monday was my birthday but I've been sick for like a week and didn't feel like doing much celebrating. I took the day off work, slept in, puttered around, got a massage and then settled into lazy-bum mode which consisted of comfy clothes, ice cream and an X-Files marathon.  At one point I let Forest outside to do his business in the front yard and watched in dismay as he started barking like crazy and then dashed across the driveway. I peered out the front door and saw a young man walking a big dog (it was like a tall, white boxer?) down our sidewalk. I started screaming "COME FOREST COME!!!" but my little puppy happily ignored me and ran straight towards the other dog. I was contemplating my options when I saw a SUV driving way too fast down the road towards our house. Forest was all giddy to see another dog and was bouncing around in the grass like he might go flying into street at any moment, so I had no choice but to go running after him. I had no shoes on, my makeup was almost all smeared off from the massage and I had officially reverted to comfy clothes so I was sans bra. I held my arms over my chest as I ran (hopefully this was a totally sly move that nobody noticed), hoarsely yelling at my damn dog to get away from the stranger and back in the house. Forest decided that was a perfect time to forget all his training and refused to listen to my commands or even look at me. I had to pick Forest up and carry the squirming puppy back into the house, all while apologizing to the stranger (who coincidently commented that it was no problem, he just wanted to make sure Forest didn't run into the street, thus confirming my worst fears).  This was perhaps not my finest moment.

In other words, I love this freaking fence. 

Forest got to experience the fenced in yard for the first time this afternoon.

"Uh, what the hell is that?"

"So you're saying this is all mine now?'

"Hell yeah it's mine, I OWN this yard."

"Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"

"I could poop there, or here, or over in that spot...so many choices!"

"This fence is awesome!"

I may start praying to the fence gods…

Success!

As I've mentioned before, crate training Forest has basically been hell. That puppy could make the most dreadful noises when we put him in his crate, whimpering and moaning and barking, like we were burying him alive or beating him with a hammer. Lord knows what the neighbors thought we were doing. It was all very sad, but also extremely annoying.

Before we got Forest, Nick and I read books and articles about raising a puppy (none of which mentioned how vile puppy poop could smell, all you new or soon-to-be puppy owners out there beware). They all said you could train your dog to go into his cage when you said a specific command, so we choose the obvious phrase "Crate". Since the very first day we brought Forest home, we've repeated the word "Crate" every single time we've put him in his cage (which may seem really simple but can be tricky to remember when you're shoving a crying, shaking puppy thru a cage door while praying that he doesn't pee on you).

It was months before Forest would venture into the crate by himself, and then usually it was only for a few seconds so he could snag the treats we kept leaving in there for him. But he slowly started to realize that :

a) the crate was not a backdoor to hell that would eat him alive

b) he was going in the crate whether he liked it or not, and wasn't coming out until he was good and quiet

c) most importantly, we would always give him a treat every time

Eventually he stopped whining when we put him in his cage. A little while after that, he started walking towards the crate when we said the command and only needed a little push to cover the last few steps. And finally, he officially gave up and started walking completely into his cage when we said the word "Crate".

Now if you watched Forest you would never know he ever had a crate phobia. We don't even have to say the word "Crate" any more. If I'm standing next to the cage and take out a treat, Forest quickly scampers into the crate and lies down. I'm convinced that we never would have won this battle if we didn't bribe him with sugary treats every time, but at this point I really don't care. I'll try to keep this in mind next time I see some parents buying their kids fast food.

Success!

Forest’s Crate

In case some of you non-dog people out there don’t know this, a dog crate is basically a cage. But no one refers to it as a cage, no, manufactures, pet stores and dog owners all refer to it as a crate (maybe that makes everyone feel better about locking up a sweet doggy in a cage). Some crates have solid, plastic sides with a wire door so the dog can only see out the front of the crate (thus you’re basically putting your dog in an expensive box). Most of the dog owners I know use a crate made entirely of metal or plastic wires/bars, so that’s what we use too. I think this type of crate makes it easier for us to keep an eye on Forest, plus it lets the puppy see what’s going on around him (the crate’s in our bedroom).

So why would we own a crate you ask? Why not just stick Forest in the yard or a closet while we’re away? Besides keeping the puppy out of trouble and out of our shit, a crate is supposed to make potty training much easier (it’s sometimes referred to as “crate training”). Apparently, dogs try not to potty where they sleep. Some say it’s a natural instinct, and some say dogs learn this as puppies when they soil their sleeping area and see their mom clean up after them by eating the poop (I really hope this second explanation is just a rumor, cause if not, damn, mommy dogs are hard-core). If you set up a divider in the crate so the puppy has just enough room to lie down and turn around, theoretically he won’t be able to potty anywhere without lying in it, so he’ll try harder to hold it.

We've put up a divider so Forest only has access to half of the crate.

According to everyone we’ve talked to and everything we’ve read, dogs are supposed to love their crates and like spending time in there. Well of course, Forest is not a fan of his crate. In fact, for the first two months we owned him, Forest HATED his crate and raised hell every single time we put him in there. He would whine, bark, whimper and moan (yes, dogs can moan, or at least this one can, and it sounds creepily human like) all while chewing on or scratching at the crate’s bars, or trying to stick his head and paws between the bars.

If we stayed in the room with the puppy and he could see both of us at all times, eventually Forest would quiet down and go to sleep. If, heaven forbid, we left the room, that dang puppy wouldn’t shut up for hours. Seriously, we timed him. We’d be in the garage or out in the yard and could still hear Forest yelping.

On top of all that, the puppy would never go into his crate willingly so we always had to gently shove him in there. We tried making his crate more appealing by filling it with treats and toys, but Forest would stand outside the crate door and stretch as much as he could to get to the item without actually entering the crate. We tried feeding him in there once but Forest seemed to prefer not eating over getting in the crate. Every time he put so much as an ear in the crate, Nick and I would give him praise like he just learned to talk or something, but everything seemed to fail.

Luckily, we’ve seen some improvement during the past month. For example, Forest no longer whines when we put him in his crate for the night (he doesn’t sleep in our bed with us). I think he knows its bedtime and we’re going to stay in the room with him, so he doesn’t freak out. Even if one or both of us leaves the room for a few minutes, Forest expects us to come right back so he doesn’t make a scene.

We’re still having a rough time leaving Forest alone for extended periods of time. I know dogs don’t have a great sense of time (they probably can’t tell the difference between 15 minutes and 5 hours) but I swear, if we leave Forest alone for awhile then that dog thinks we’re never ever coming back and he’s stuck in that damn cage forever.

Nick and I try to avoid letting Forest out of his crate when he’s whining or barking, kinda like how parents aren’t supposed to pick up a baby every time it cries. But sometimes that puppy just won’t shut up, so Nick and I have to stand in the hallway waiting for a pause in the madness so we can enter our own bedroom. It almost feels like a game to me (hopefully it doesn’t seem that way to Forest). I’ll stand in front of his crate, Forest will whine, I’ll leave the room, he’ll bark a little, pause, I’ll walk back in, he’ll whimper, out I go again. It’s a sad process, but eventually Forest will remain quiet (for a moment) when I stand in front of his crate so I can let him out. *Whew*, so much work.

I swear we’re coming back Forest!

Forest’s Crate

Head of the Class

Forest graduated from obedience class last week! I wouldn’t classify Forest as “obedient” yet, but he did learn the sit and down commands. We need some more practice with come, wait/stay and loose leash walking (which isn’t as strict as heel, Forest should just stay relatively close to my side without pulling on the leash or stopping). And we definitely need to train Forest on how to properly greet someone. Jumping up on people is cute now, but I don’t want him to knock over a kid or keep this habit as an adult dog.

Everyone took lots of photos during this last class, especially the instructor. We had a couple group photos with all of the doggy graduates and their parents. Some people had trouble getting their dogs to sit still and look forward, most of the students just wanted to lick themselves or their neighbors. Forest was one of the smaller dogs in the class so luckily I could just pick him up and point him towards the camera. The instructor also had one mini graduation cap that she wanted each dog to wear for individual photos. I think there were like 9 dogs in the class, so it took awhile to get the cap strapped onto each dog and then calm him down enough to snap some photos.

Forest was especially antsy, so I only got one good photo.

Then I got a cute but blurry photo.

At first, Forest was a little confused on how to wear a hat. I think he was trying to stick his face in it.

The instructor for the class was a little kooky, but she was also really passionate about training and raising dogs. She didn’t teach us as many commands as I would have liked, but she did teach us helpful training methods, so I’m hoping Nick and I can continue training Forest to not be a hellion.

Speaking of training, I have like the ultimate command in mind for Forest. There’s this scene in the movie “Shooter” that’s totally unrelated to the plot but looks cool: the main character’s dog is trained to open the refrigerator by pulling on a towel tied to the door handle, then snag a beer in his mouth and carry it back to his owner. Yes I know dogs in movies and TV shows are trained to do all sorts of stunts, but this one seems actually possible :) Unfortunately I’ll have to wait until Forest grows up before I can verify that a can or bottle of beer will fit securely in his mouth. Until then, I’ll guess we’ll keep working on the basics.

Head of the Class

Puppy Class

I’ve found dog-training books to be a tad disappointing. I’ll read the directions and study any pictures or illustrations that may be included, and think “Oh yeah, no problem. Man, it’s all pretty simple when you think about it. I probably won’t even need this book.” Then Reality, dressed as a puppy, shows up and says “Oh hell no, it ain’t going to be that easy” and proceeds to pee on my kitchen floor. In other words, Forest doesn’t act or respond like the book says he should.

We found a few helpful dog-training videos online, but the editing, or lack of, can make them difficult to follow. Sometimes it’s hard to see hand commands or body language because the video is shot too close or too far away. Some videos make the whole process look way too easy - here we see a disobedient dog, the trainer gives a few commands, video star-wipe effect, and now we see an obedient dog. Not helpful.

We decided that Forest wasn’t dumb (although I’ll admit he sometimes has his “duh” moments) he just wasn’t learning new tricks because we weren’t training him correctly. For example, one book said you could teach a dog to sit by gently pushing his butt down to the ground while saying the command “sit,” but we later learned that this puts unnecessary pressure on the hips and knees and could cause joint problems. We decided to enroll Forest in an obedience class and not attempt to teach him anything (except potty training) until the class showed us the correct training method.

So, Forest had his first puppy class a week ago today. We spent most of the time covering a few simple commands and letting the dogs get to know each other. Forest stood out in three aspects: he barked the most, he was the only dog in the class who didn’t already know the command “sit,” and the other “students” preferred to hump him more than any other dog in the class (the dog’s owners would get all embarrassed and apologize but I assured them that it was fine and it didn’t seem like Forest minded much anyways).

At the end of the class, the instructor gave us a list of commands to practice with our dog every day. I had every intention to follow her directions, but last week was hella busy. We had to pack everything up for the holiday weekend, and then we spent way too much time in the car driving to Iowa. It was impossible to get Forest to focus on training at the Iowa cabin, not when there were other dogs to play with, leaves to eat, grass to roll in and sand to dig. Then we spent more time in the car driving back from Iowa, and of course, unpacking. So last night I was thinking about how we could cram a bunch of training into the next 48 hours so perhaps Forest would be somewhat prepared for class. And suddenly it occurred to me that damn it, 3 day weekend means it’s Monday, not Sunday, so actually I had less than 24 hours. Not good. Flashback to my college years when I forgot to do my homework or study for test, but this time I couldn’t pull an all-nighter and catch-up.

Forest, I promise to be more diligent about consistently practicing your commands. We’ll study every day buddy, I swear. Until then, any chance you can learn “sit” in the next 2 hours?

Puppy Class