my dog forest

We’re Back!

2011-06-01T23:07:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the long hiatus in blog posts. The last few months have been, well, busy. Like crazy, sleep-deprived, sometimes fun, sometimes almost in tears busy. Work was insane for a good 8 month stretch. Plus Nick and I traveled...a lot. Let’s see, there was:

Thanksgiving Iowa road trip

Thanksgiving Colorado road trip

December Virgin Islands trip (included Iowa to-from trips to drop off and pick up Forest with Grandma Dee and Grandpa John)

Christmas trip to Colorado

New Year’s Iowa road trip

Las Vegas trip for Nick’s birthday

Dallas, Texas trip

March Virgin Islands trip (included Iowa to-from trips to drop off and pick up Forest with Grandma Dee and Grandpa John)

Columbus, Ohio trip

Memorial Day weekend Iowa trip

Sometimes Forest came with us, but most of the time we either had to board him or leave him with family. We were so busy and traveling so much that sometimes I didn’t have a chance to put away my suitcase, I just left it in the bedroom and unpacked and packed it again and again. Even Forest thought we were traveling too much...

“You should take me with you.”

“See, I even have room for a toy.”

“I promise not to squeak it during take off or landing.”

“It’ll be our little secret.”

Happy Birthday Forest!

2011-05-30T21:08:00.037-05:00

That’s right, our sweet, adorable, cuddly puppy turns 2 years old today! Unlike last year’s birthday mishap, Forest got a birthday present this year.

Thank you Grandma Dee for this kick-ass peanut butter treat!

“What......the…?”

“Total awesomeness!”

The treat was so big, I broke it in half so Forest wouldn’t eat the whole thing in one sitting (there’s always a chance that new treats won’t agree with his delicate puppy stomach and I really didn’t want to have to deal with birthday diarrhea on the lawn later).

"Nom nom nom"

"Best (chew chew chew) birthday (burp) ever!"

A Christmas Flashback

2010-11-09T18:32:00.001-06:00

Poor Halloween and Thanksgiving. Try as they might, these holidays just can’t stand up to their big brother Christmas. Although Halloween had a decent run (we even got to dress up Forest!) the Marketing Gods have skipped right over Thanksgiving and fast-forwarded to Christmas. TV commercials, marketing displays, and radio ads have already invaded our lives. So, to get in the spirit of the impending holiday frenzy, I submit the following photos and video taken during last year’s Christmas break.

While I visited my folks in Colorado, Nick took Forest on a road trip to Iowa to see his family. They stayed with Nick’s mom, Dee, who had a house full of dogs that Christmas. Besides the reigning doggy king of the household, Vico, Dee’s stepdaughter also brought her dogs Charlie and Brecken to stay with them. Charlie and Vico spent most of their time watching Forest and Brecken fight it out in a never-ending play match.

Sorry the video is a little dark, hopefully you can still see the action.

When it was all over, Brecken was one tired puppy.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T20:19:00.000-05:00

Halloween doesn’t get much love in our household. I usually procrastinate until the very last minute and end up with a store-bought costume or a friend’s discard outfit from the year before. Nick hates costumes, so the few times we’ve actually left the house for Halloween, he’s always just glued a fake gash on his forehead, trickled some fake blood over it and declared himself as “Bloody Head Wound Guy”.

This year we were invited to a Halloween/Birthday party and were encouraged to bring the puppy. After promising that I wouldn’t dress Forest in a lame or girly outfit, I finally convinced Nick that the puppy had to show up to the party wearing a costume. The weekend before Halloween, our small family visited PetSmart and picked out a doggy costume. Downside to our late shopping trip: apparently people shop early for doggy costumes so we only had one or two items to pick from. Upside: the outfit we did end up buying was 95% off; score for the procrastinators!

So last Friday, Forest showed up ready to party as “Vampire Puppy”...

...complete with cape.

"I'm coming to get you!"

Surprisingly, Forest didn’t try to destroy the costume. We caught him chewing on his cape a few times, but overall, he didn't seem to mind it that much.

Forest played his part quite well…

"If you value your life, you’ll keep patting my head."

…although I don’t think that a real vampire would have been so easily subdued by a tummy rub.

Side note: My original plan had been for us to dress up as Forest’s victims. I was going to buy fake blood and wounds so we could make it look like Forest had attacked us. But last week was really stressful at work, so by the time I got home, I just didn’t have the energy to fight crowds at the Halloween stores. So Nick and I dressed in black and pretended to be Forest’s henchmen. No one got that and/or thought it was funny, so by the end of the night Nick had re-classified himself as “Party Pooper” and I was just a girl sans costume. Thank goodness Forest was adorable or we would have probably been kicked out of the party.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-10-27T21:18:00.000-05:00

Well holy shit…

Remember that puppy who hated his crate so much that he cried and barked when we shoved him inside, and threw himself against the door so hard that we had strap it shut with a bungee cord? Yep, this is the same puppy, just chilling in his crate. After a year of intense hatred, Forest has suddenly decided that he likes his crate and will randomly crawl inside for a few minutes at a time. I swear, sometimes I think that dog is just messing with us.

Scruffy Puppy -> Tidy Puppy!

2010-10-26T22:07:00.000-05:00

Why is there an unkempt, homeless-looking dog in our bedroom? Oh never mind, that’s Forest hiding under all that hair.

Pirate Puppy “Argh, I can only see out of me one eye.”

We never remember to cut Forest’s hair until after he’s transformed into uber-scruffy puppy. After every hair cut we’ll gush about how adorable he looks and how soft his fur feels. But then a few weeks will go by, and then a few months, and we’ll start mentioning how we should really get Forest groomed, and then a few more weeks will go by and ta-da, we’re living with Ewok.

After taking these pictures last week, I finally remembered to schedule a hair cut for the puppy. He came home looking fab-u-lous.

"Wonders of wonders, I can see!"

"How about a nice profile shot?"

"Damn I look good."

Forest’s First Car Wash

2010-10-24T20:05:00.000-05:00

Last night, Nick, Forest and I went over to a friend’s house to watch the UFC fights. As grown men pummeled each other for our entertainment, some kids in the neighborhood decided to celebrate Halloween a little early this year and egg our cars. My car was the only one on the street, so it took the brunt of the attack and nicely shielded the other cars parked in the driveway. Whatever, I was young once (though I don’t recall ever egging anything) and the incident failed to put a damper on our fight night, although at one point I did have to pull broken eggshells out of Forest’s mouth. Apparently puppies like eggs.

It wasn’t until the brawls were over and we wanted to head home that we faced a dilemma. We didn’t think eggs could hurt my car’s paint, but I didn’t want gooey egg guts sitting on my car all night. It wasn’t completely covered in eggs, but there were enough to discourage us from cleaning it by hand. We thought about dropping Forest off at home, but that was in the opposite direction of town. So that’s how at we ended up driving around at midnight in search of a car wash that was still open.

Luckily, we found one at a gas station a few minutes away from our friend’s neighborhood. It was a small, automatic car wash where you just park and a big cleaning machine paces back and forth beside your car. I expected Forest to freak out a little, maybe make some noise or at least tremble, but the car wash didn’t faze him a bit. The puppy just sat in the backseat and watched the machine whirl around us.

Unfortunately, the ghetto car wash didn’t remove a single eggshell crumb off my car. In fact, the heat from dryers at the end of the wash made the situation worse by fusing the yolky mess to my car. So at 12:30 am, Nick and I attempted to clean the rest off using the gas station’s windshield cleaner sticks. Forest, the same dog who ignored loud machinery that shook the car, whined and barked because we left him alone for 10 minutes while we stood a foot away. That puppy is just weird sometimes.

He hasn’t fallen over...yet

2010-10-20T21:42:00.000-05:00

They say dogs easily pick up behaviors and mannerisms from other dogs. For example, supposedly it’s easier potty train a puppy when he’s living with an older dog because the puppy will watch the other dog potty outside and try to imitate him (so if the older dog isn’t well potty trained either, then I guess you’re shit out of luck…or possibly shit in the house, whatever).

As much as I love doggy day care, Forest is coming home with some annoying habits. During play time, they let the dogs chew on rags and old blankets. This certainly isn't helping Forest’s sock obsession, and now he goes wild every time I pull out a scarf or towel. If we board Forest for more than a few days, the puppy always comes back with potty issues. I think he sees other dogs relieving themselves inside, so he starts to think that’s ok again. We’ve gone out of our way to avoid boarding Forest now because of this issue, sometimes even driving to Iowa to drop him off with friends or family who doggy-sit Forest while we’re on vacation (which we truly appreciate, thanks guys!). But a few months ago, we noticed Forest exhibiting a new, amusing habit…

Ever since Forest was puppy, he’s always squatted when going potty. In fact, he was so small when he first came home with us, sometimes we couldn’t even tell when he went to the bathroom; tiny Forest standing up looked about the same as tiny Forest squatting (especially when we didn’t mow the grass).

Many times we had to pick Forest up to check if he had done his business.

We assumed Forest would always go the bathroom this way, especially after he got neutered (most male dogs squat after being neutered, like they’re ashamed to lift a leg and expose their once-manly nether regions).

But now, randomly, Forest will lift his leg to pee. The first time I saw Forest do this, I actually laughed out loud. The puppy had no clue what he was doing. He was just randomly lifting he leg during walks and out in the yard. He didn't even pee! Just stood there for a moment with that leg hefted high, sometimes glancing at us as if to ask “This is how you do it, right?” Occasionally he would raise his leg so high, he’d lose his balance and stumble around.

After a few more weeks at doggy day care, Forest finalized realized that lifting a leg was part of a process, the end goal being to squirt something out. Now Forest will raise his leg to mark a bush or fire hydrant, but sometimes he still lifts his leg for no dang reason.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-10-14T20:52:00.000-05:00

The puppy is scared of air vents.

He adamantly refuses to retrieve any toys that happen to roll onto the vent. Forest may give it a few sniffs, then retreat and whimper. Again, where are these types of situations in that doggy manual we bought? Worthless.

Recovering Addicts

2010-10-13T22:01:00.000-05:00

I swear, Nick and I never thought we’d get addicted. We were just looking for something to relieve the stress of raising a puppy, help us relax after a long day at work. So we thought we’d try it for a few weeks, no big deal right? Twelve months and a couple thousand bucks later, we've finally realized the truth… we’re addicted to doggy day care.

It started out innocently enough. Baby Forest had a tiny bladder and had to go potty like a zillion times a day. After one week of scampering home every two hours to let him out, we gave up and took him to doggy day care (which is conveniently run by his vet). Suddenly we had our lives back. While we were at work, the doggy day care folks let him play with other dogs, took him out to potty every few hours, and lavished him with love and attention. Sure, it was more money spent on the dog instead of a bar tab, and one of us had to drop him off in the morning while the other had to pick him up after work, but we assured each other that doggy day care was only a temporary solution.

A few weeks turned into a few months and we continued to take Forest to doggy day care. Addicts can always come up with excuses for not quitting. In the beginning, we reasoned that it would be healthy for Forest to interact with different people and animals while he was still young so he wouldn’t turn into a weird canine who couldn’t play well with others and tried to eat cats. When the weather got cold and nasty, we argued that doggy day care was a perfect way for Forest to get exercise, negating the need for an evening walk. When Spring came around, we were convinced that we just couldn’t find time in our hectic work and travel schedules for a mid-day puppy break.

So our temporary solution has eventually transformed into the main problem. Doggy day care is not on the way to either of our offices, so we spend more time stuck in traffic. When Nick’s out of town, I’m responsible for both drop-off and pick-up duty. And although it’s reasonable priced, a year of care adds up (raising a dog has turned out to be freaking expensive).

Luckily, it was Forest himself who started us on the road to recovery. The growing puppy finally mastered his bladder, so we stopped locking Forest in his crate at night. When it was time for bed, we just shut the bedroom door and Forest slept on the floor (usually curled up on my discarded clothing). Except for that unpleasant incident when I tried to sleep in on a Saturday, Forest behaved quite well. Next, we experimented with leaving him home alone for a few hours in the bedroom, sans crate, and we always came home to dry carpets. Then slowly, starting with just one or two days a week, we locked Forest in his crate while we were at work (finally discarding the trusty bungee cord). We felt horrible about putting him in a box all day, and soon progressed to our current practice of just shutting him in the bedroom (although we suspect that he probably spends half his day on the bed).

Someday, we’d love to give Forest free-rein of the whole house while we’re gone, but we’re not quite to that comfort level yet. Doggy day care isn’t completely out of our system, and may always be a small part of our routine, but I have hope. Every addict does.

Why Forest can’t have nice things…

2010-10-11T20:57:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, I was picking Forest up from doggy day-care when one of the vet’s assistants pulled me aside. “Forest had a little incident today,” she said, and immediately I’m thinking ok, either he got humped by another dog or ate poop again. She must have saw the growing panic in my eyes and quickly explained that it was nothing serious, just that Forest had somehow slipped off his collar and turned it into a chew toy. The Hawkeye collar was officially destroyed.

Luckily, the vet/doggy day-care place also sells pet’s supplies so I bought a new, non-Hawkeye collar (thus preventing Forest from riding home naked). I thought about getting a snazzy purple one, but thought Nick might consider it too feminine for his manly-male puppy. I finally decided on a respectable blue/yellow plaid collar (with a lifetime warranty).

As I was paying for Forest’s new bling, the vet’s assistant got a closer look at our puppy’s rabies tag and casually mentioned that she would just go ahead and get a new one of those as well. Remember that post awhile back about Forest’s bad habit of chewing on his tags? Well, let’s just say that the problem has yet to be resolved...

So now the puppy has a new collar and a new rabies tag…which he is quickly destroying like the others.

As a side rant, how many tags does one dog really need? The first tag Nick and I bought was a name tag with an emergency phone number engraved on the back. Then the vet gave Forest a rabies tag. Then we had to get Forest licensed with the city and they gave us another tag (supposedly they’ll ticket us if they ever catch Forest without it). And finally, when Forest got chipped, the micro-chip company sent as yet another tag so if the puppy ever got lost, people would know Forest had a chip and should be scanned. Are we really expected to clip four freaking tags to our puppy? Makes me wonder how many tags other dogs are wearing…

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-10-01T19:54:00.000-05:00

And once again, Squeaky Hippo has been temporarily retired. Forest was just a tad too rambunctious with his favorite toy while Nick was working from home last week, so it was banished to the top of the front door.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-09-29T20:31:00.000-05:00

Somebody is awful comfy.

Shrooming Puppy

2010-09-20T20:51:00.001-05:00

Besides two enormous bean bags (one of which endured a messy puppy accident last year), we have a bright green footstool in our basement. In addition to being extremely comfy, it also looks like a mushroom, which I find amusing. Nick’s family tried to get rid of it at a garage sale, but I was adamant that we had to save it.

A few weekends ago, Nick and I decided to watch the movie Clash of the Titans (there are so many things wrong with this movie, the worst being the title. There’s only one freaking Titan in the film, so really it’s Clash of the Titan, singular, which doesn’t make sense, much like the movie). Luckily Forest decided to hang with us so I had another source of entertainment.

Just ignore Nick’s feet in these pictures, he was too lazy to move them.

“Ah, the perfect place to chew on my bone.”

“Yum, mushroom-bone”

“Mommy’s right, this is pretty comfy”

“Oh, this spot is even better.”

“Disregard my previous statements. This is the best position EVER.”

Forest’s First Pighide

2010-09-13T22:49:00.000-05:00

Our friend Lisa has mentioned how much her dog Bailey likes Bully Sticks. She even sent me an adorable photo of the puppy chewing on her “cigar”. Oh la la, very classy.

I thought about buying Forest some Bully Sticks, but then I researched what they actually are:
Bully Sticks consist entirely of pure bull penises. This is the only ingredient in the product.

Followed by the gross manufacturing details:
Bully Sticks are manufactured by first removing the bull penis, cleaning it and hanging it upside down to allow fluids to run out. The bull penis is then stretched and sometimes twisted, and then dried or smoked.
Source

Sooooo, although I’m sure dogs love the taste of dried-up bull willy, my puppy ain’t going anywhere near them. I compromised and bought Forest his first pighide (which, as a vegetarian, was a really weird shopping cart item).

“For me?”

“I’ll humor you and just chew on this here end.”

“Hmm, that’s actually pretty good.”

“Holy poop, this is fantastic!” Nom nom nom

“Maybe I’ll try this angle.”

“What? It's yummy.”

“Shhhh, we’re having a staring contest.”

Not quite as classy as Bailey, but I think Forest is pretty happy with his cigar as well.

My Attempt to Secure the Dog-Free Zone

2010-09-01T22:31:00.000-05:00

Forest doesn’t shed so he has free reign of most of house. He can play in every room and take a nap on any piece of furniture, but the bed Nick and I share is officially off limits. Although Forest hasn’t irritated Nick’s allergies, we thought it would be smart to have one place in the house that was dog-free, and what better place than the bed in which Nick spends 7+straight hours a day.

Our puppy has short, stubby legs and our bed has a thick mattress that raises it a tad, so we assumed Forest wouldn’t be able to jump on to it. A few months ago he attempted to get on the bed, but he didn’t estimate the distance correctly and awkwardly crashed into the side of it. Instead of yelling at him, I couldn’t help but just laugh. He’s a stubborn puppy though. A few weeks later he successfully made it onto the bed, but quickly jumped off after a barrage of shouts from his parents. Last week, I came out of the shower to find Forest curled up at the end of our bed. He just looked confused when I yelled at him, but quickly realized his mistake when Nick chimed in. We started to realize that no place in our home may be safe from the puppy.

Last night, Kansas City was struck by a vicious thunderstorm. Forest freaked out. He didn’t like the rolling thunder that shook our house or the bright flashes of lighting coming thru the windows. Nick is out of town on business this week, so unlike a previous storm encounter, the puppy didn’t have Daddy to run to. He followed me around most of the night, whimpering and jumping on my legs. At one point, I noticed that Forest had scampered off somewhere. I went looking for him, wondering where the puppy would seek comfort during a storm. I really should have known better. I found Forest sprawled across our pillows on the bed. He definitely understood that he was being bad when I yelled at him and shamefully sulk off the bed.

A few hours later, I tried to go to sleep with what sounded like a hurricane raging outside my window. Forest didn’t sleep. Instead he whimpered and stood on his hind legs at the side of the bed so his head was as close as possible to mine. Around 1 am, bad puppy breath woke me up. As soon as I lifted my head from my pillow, Forest sprung from the floor and landed at my side. I shouted, I cursed, I even tried shoving him away, but Forest refused to get off the bed. Part of me, the really tired part, tried to justify letting him sleep there. He would finally shut up, and I could always wash the sheets the following day before Nick got home. A loud clap of thunder woke me up a little more and l knew that it wouldn’t be fair to let him sleep on the bed for one night. He would assume sleeping on the bed was ok, and would probably get really confused when I yelled at him for getting on the bed the next night. I briefly considered locking Forest in his crate, but in the past even that hasn’t quieted him up when a thunderstorm was rolling through.

My sleep-depraved brain could only think of one other solution. I dragged my pillows into the guest room and slept on the futon with the puppy. I think it was a small victory in self-control, but also just feel like the damn dog has whipped me good.

Forest’s First Cabin Bath

2010-08-31T22:27:00.000-05:00

The Iowa cabin doesn’t have any bathtubs, which is just fine and dandy with me. I don’t like tubs. I understand that hot water and soap will technically kill any germs, but I can’t help but feeling like in the end, you’re just lying in a pool of your own filth. It’s the same reason I don’t fill a sink with water to wash dishes.

Anyway, after an especially dirty play session in the Iowa sandbox last year, we needed to bathe Forest. First, we attempted to wash him outside using the hose, but the water was way too cold for the puppy. After some discussion, we decided to wash Forest in the bathroom sink (this was back when Forest was just a tiny puppy and could actually fit in a sink).

Unfortunately, I was too busy trying to hold Forest down and scrub off dirt to take photos. By the time we were done, Forest was shaking with cold and fear (the sink was a little too far off the ground for the height-fearing puppy), so we brought him out to warm deck to dry him off. Finally, we had an opportunity to take some adorable photos.

Forest was still a tad cold, so we wrapped him in a dry towel to keep him warm.

Little puppy was exhausted after his ordeal and took a short puppy nap.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-08-30T21:59:00.000-05:00

I am not a morning person. On the weekdays, I sadly assume the persona of a working drone and drag my ass out of bed at 6ish am, but on the weekends I happily relapse to my college sleeping schedule and rarely show my face before noon. Nick still wakes up at reasonable hour but tries to sneak out of bed and let me sleep in. However, Forest can’t wait for Mommy to wake up and apparently spends quite some time lurking by the bedroom door, as documented by this recent photo that Nick took.

“Dude, is she up yet?”

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-08-26T21:24:00.000-05:00

Forest chilling on the beach at the Iowa cabin.

Lost Notes

2010-08-25T21:55:00.000-05:00

I have a Word document full of random notes and stories about Forest. I find it easier to write when my only goal is to put words on paper, so this method helps me temporary ignore the impending question of “Is this going to end up on the blog?” I was going thru some old entries and found the notes that I made while the fence was being built. I published a post raving about the new fence after it was up, but apparently I wasn’t so excited during the actually build process…

I know the fence will be awesome, but if I line up all the facts, it would appear that building a fence should, in fact, just piss me off:

1) Fences are extremely expensive. I have no clue why they’re so expensive, it's just a bunch of wood and nails, but I guess you throw in all that measuring, hammering and post digging (which may or may not involve cement, I have no clue) and it comes out to a couple thousand dollars. Dollars which would have been much happier spent at a bar, or for a tropical vacation…or most likely at a bar during a tropical vacation.

2) The fence company took our deposit money, but then said they had so much business that it might be a few weeks before they could actually build our fence. Just my luck, I found a company not taking a hit in this economy.

3) Unless the home builder was nice enough to bury something like steel bars in your yard to mark the property line, you need to have a surveyor come out and measure your measly plot of land, which involves more time and money, hence making building a fence cost even more money.

4) I had to fax the home owner's association some form asking permission to build a fence. It's not like I'm asking them to pay for it, or asking to build something on public property. No, I had to beg for their permission to build a fence on my property with my money.

5) The surveyor folks informed us that we have half a dozen power lines snaked under our yard, but they can't really figure out exactly where the power lines are or why they're there. So they called the city's electrical company to come out and put +25 flags in our yard to mark exactly where the lines are buried. A guys from the surveyor company said "I'd hate for us to miss one (power line) and then someone gets electrocuted just putting up a damn fence." Well I can’t remember if he actually say damn, but it was definitely implied, because getting killed while building a fence is just a dumb way to go.

6) Apparently the hand-drawn sketch from the fence people was not official enough for the home owner's association, so later I had to fax the surveyor's Certificate of Survey, which oddly enough looked liked the fence company's sketch copied over with magic marker.

7) They finally started building our fence today..at 8:30 am..while I was trying to sleep in...because I took the day off…because it's my birthday. Insistent hammering and the sound that machine they have makes when it punches thru our lawn to build a post hole = unpleasant birthday morning.

8) I've been sick all week with some sort of weird allergy-induced cold and sore throat, so I've been dealing with all of this shit thru a Sudafed/allergy med induced daze.

Forest the Cyber-Dog

2010-08-24T23:34:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I got my sh!t together and asked the vet to implant an identify microchip in Forest. I don’t think the puppy would ever purposely run away, but I can easily imagine him getting confused and wandering off, so the chip helps prevent paranoid nightmares of a terrified, lost Forest searching for shelter from the freezing rain, or getting hit by numerous cars on the freeway, or prostituting himself to the city dogs to make a few bucks for the bus ride back home. That’s just not the life for a loved puppy. If Forest did end up at a shelter, all the employees have to do is scan his chip and they’ll have all of our contact information.

So, even though I knew a chip implant would bring some peace of mind, I had been delaying this important task for two reasons:

1) I thought this would involve a lot of complicated paper work. Although the vet implants the chip, it’s up to the owner to fill out the necessary forms and mail them in, and I was convinced I would somehow mess up this essential step. Luckily, the vet took pity on me and filled out some of the form. Then I had Nick proof-read the parts I filled out. No problemo.

2) I thought the vet would have to shave off a patch of Forest’s fur to implant the chip. Yes, I realize that that’s an incredibly shallow reason to postpone an important procedure, but, yeah, there you go. Forest had a lot of new people to meet this summer and I didn’t want him to look like an unfortunate lush who passed out early at a party and got shaved by his friends (don’t tell me this doesn’t happen, I’ve seen those photos on Facebook). But it turns out I was completely wrong (either I was misinformed or totally made up the shaving part, not sure which). The microchip is super small and was implanted using a needle, so no shaving or stitching was involved. My bad.

So it’s official, our puppy has been chipped. Finally.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-08-17T21:51:00.001-05:00

Little, baby Forest playing with Squeaky Hippo.

That toy is almost as big as the puppy’s head! A few months later and Forest could fit Squeaky Hippo in his mouth.

Twin Lakes: Windier than the Windy City

2010-08-12T22:50:00.002-05:00

Forest, Nick and I spent Memorial Day weekend at the Iowa cabin. It was hot and windy most of the weekend. Fortunately the wind kept most of the bugs away (we were plagued by bugs at the Iowa cabin over the 4th of July. I wouldn’t have minded so much but they kept going after my beer…not cool.) Unfortunately this wasn’t a pleasant, cooling wind; it basically just moved the hot air around. But it did produce some funny Forest photos…

We don’t have a lot of trees in our neighborhood (there’s only one measly tree in our yard that sheds like 5 leaves in the fall) so Forest was thrilled to find plenty of sticks from the numerous trees planted around the Iowa cabin.

"Yay! I’m going to nom nom this here stick.”

“Why do I keep chewing on hair? Stupid wind, stop blowing my beard into my mouth!”

“WTF? A part of my stick blew away! I want it back!”

“That’s it, I give up.”

Forest spent a lot of his time hiding under our chairs from the brutal sun, but he couldn’t escape the wind.

We tried to limit our use of the air conditioner, so the windows were open most of the weekend. Forest found a wind tunnel and spent a lot of time in this spot, trying to cool off. Finally, we discovered a situation where the wind was actually useful.

How could you not love this face?

2010-08-11T22:47:00.001-05:00

The dog breeder is great about posting photos and videos of their new puppies online. Before we decided to get a dog, I spent countless hours staring at Forest photos and watching videos of him playing with his litter-mates. I may have become a little addicted. After finding me glued to my computer again, watching a doggy video for the zillionth time, Nick finally said "Screw it, let's just get the puppy." *Sniff* those were words I was waiting to hear (especially since I was too much of a pansy to make a final decision on the matter).

Here are some of the first photos I ever saw of Forest.

"Come on, you know you want to buy me!"

"I'm the adorable, cuddly puppy you always wanted!"

My checkbook didn’t stand a chance.

This might get smelly

2010-08-09T23:05:00.004-05:00

Earlier this summer, I accidentally dropped a doggy treat down the air vent in our living room. I removed the metal covering in a lame rescue attempt, but the artificially-flavored pizza treat had disappeared down the rabbit hole. Whatever, it didn’t seem like a big deal at the time, out of sight=out of mind, so I quickly forgot about the incident…until last week.

With the heat index regularly hitting triple digits, some of my friends and coworkers are already pining for the cool Fall and Winter days ahead. I’m not a fan of the cold, but this summer has been rough for us Missourians. For example, I haven’t really been paying attention to the humidity records this year, but tonight it’s supposed to reach 82% humidity. Yuck. So I’m kinda excited for Fall, and Winter can go f*ck itself. Unfortunately, Missouri seems to skip over the Spring and Fall months and bounce directly between Winter and Summer.

Anyway, while everyone’s talking about how nice it will be to step outside without specific body parts breaking into sweat, and how much they’re looking forward opening the windows for some fresh Fall air, it suddenly occurs to me that I have a decaying doggy treat stuck in my air vent. With Missouri’s recent track record, after I turn off the air conditioning, I’ll only have a couple pleasant weeks before I’ll have to turn on the heat. So what’s going to happen when I have hot air blowing over my logged doggy treat? Will my house be filled with the aromatic scent of burnt pizza? I can imagine Forest becoming obsessed with finding the hidden treat whose scent magically radiates from every room. Or will my home be infested by scavenging bugs that plan on rationing this rotting doggy treat for the coming winter months? Ugh, it’s too hot to think, maybe I can ignore this problem for a few more months…

Is this even legal?

2010-08-05T20:48:00.000-05:00

I was driving home one day when I saw such a spectacle that I had to pull out my iPhone and take some pictures. (Yes, I know taking pictures while driving is incredibly stupid but I was very careful, which is why I only have a couple blurry photos to share with you).

Some dumbass was driving down the highway with his dog in the back up his pickup truck. I know lots of people do this, but it’s still very dangerous for the dog. However, this particularly truck had its tailgate down and was packed full with a four-wheeler, gas can and other crap. I have no clue how the driver thought his dog was going to fit back there, but apparently the doggy figured out his own solution…

That’s right, this dog is sitting in the seat of the four-wheeler, which raises him above the cab, while its asshole owner drives 70+ mph on the freaking freeway.

I have no clue what the hell this driver was thinking. I thought I was being irresponsible about leaving Forest unrestrained in my backseat (especially after his incident) but this guy has found the bottom rung of the reckless pet-owner ladder.

The Empty Water Dish Tantrum

2010-08-03T20:10:00.000-05:00

Forest has two water dishes: one in the kitchen next to his food, and another in the master bedroom. The kitchen water bowl is ceramic and kinda heavy, but the water in the bedroom is contained in a flimsy, plastic dish. If the bedroom water bowl is empty, Forest will flip it over in protest.

“What, no water? Damn you empty bowl!”

“I don’t care if my kitchen bowl has water, I want to drink out of this one.”

“Yum, water out of this dish sure would taste good right now…get the hint, lady?”

“Look, I ain’t going nowhere until this bowl is filled.”

Sigh, lazy puppy.

100 Posts!

2010-07-31T18:39:00.000-05:00

The My Dog Forest blog has officially reached 100 posts! Forest was thrilled to hear this news :)

I would like to thank the puppy for providing so many adorable photos and writing material for this blog.

Poop Scissors

2010-07-29T22:18:00.000-05:00

I never saw a chapter about this in any of our dog training books. It would have been considerate if someone had given us a heads up about purchasing an essential doggy accessory…Poop Scissors.

As we have yet to train Forest to wipe his own butt, sometimes we have to complete this task for him. Usually there are just some ugly remnants hanging on his fur, and a quick dab with a paper towel is all that’s required. But unfortunately there are times when a paper towel just ain’t doing the job (forget cleaning up spilled milk and stovetop grease, if I ever see a commercial where a mother cleans up puppy poop with her magical Bounty towel, I’m buying that freaking product).

Yes, every now and then, Forest somehow manages to embed his puppy waste into his butt hair, and then it’s a job for the Poop Scissors. Nick and I have become so accustomed to this chore that we routinely remind each other to double-check Forest’s butt after he poops. Today I decided to start using the command “Butt Check” with Forest so he’ll stop squirming when I lift his tail for inspection.

And no, we didn’t buy an expensive pair of scissors that were specifically designed for this job. The Poop Scissors are just an ordinary pair of office scissors that now have the sole purpose of clipping turds out of Forest’s hair. I did a quick Google search and surprisingly didn’t find any certified Poop Scissors for sale. With all the stupid dog items out there, like this one, you’d think someone would have patented Poop Scissors by now. Hmmmm...

Potty Bell

2010-07-28T22:27:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted about potty training lately because, HALLELUJAH, Forest hasn't had an accident in the house for the past couple of months (besides that incident in April). We were really struggling for awhile, but I thinking the turning point came when we bought a potty bell.

We decided to get a bell after constantly finding Forest sitting at the front door waiting to go out (and we had no clue as to how long he had been waiting) or a puppy puddle on the kitchen floor. We thought it would be helpful if Forest could somehow signal when he needed to potty, but without barking or whining. We found two different types of potty bells: one was bell attached to a piece of rope that would hang from a door knob, and the other was free-standing bell that kinda looked like what you would ring for a bellhop at a hotel. We decided to buy the latter because we thought it would get really annoying to hear a bell ring every time we opened the door (plus we figured it would confound Forest).

After we bought the bell, we had to tackle the task of training Forest to use it. Similar to his crate training, every single time we took Forest outside to potty, we would first lift his little paw and gently push it down on the bell. Theoretically, puppies are supposed to eventually learn that ringing the bell automatically gives them a free pass outside, but we found that the word “eventually” is relative. Most of the books we read and the websites we looked at said that it may take a few days to a few weeks to train your puppy to ring the bell when he needs to go out. Ummm, it took 2 freaking months to train Forest to use the potty bell. After the first month, I felt like a complete jackass. An Albert Einstein quote kept repeating in my head "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Damn straight.

I’ll admit it, I almost gave up, but the crate training experience gave me hope that someday Forest could understand what the potty bell was for. Then, one day, Forest accidently rang the bell by licking it. YAY! Doggy got a lot of treats and praise. He quickly caught on after that and was ringing the bell every time he went out.

Of course, Forest soon learned to take advantage of the bell and rang it every time he wanted to go outside, not when he needed to go outside. Hear some kids playing outside? *RING* Want to go chew on some grass? *RING* Just desire some attention from your parents who, gasp, haven’t looked at you for 30 seconds? *RING*

So Nick and I had to retrain ourselves to not let Forest out every time he rings the bell. I think we’ve finally reached a nice equilibrium. We totally ignore Forest if he’s gone potty recently and rings the bell. If Forest hasn’t gone out in awhile and rings the bell, or if he loiters around the bell and persistently rings it, then we know the puppy really needs to go potty.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-07-27T21:56:00.000-05:00

I don’t know, I think kids would have a lot of fun with this thing...

By the way, Forest DESTROYED this MilkBone ball in less than 5 minutes. Piece of crap.

We love you, Forest Updated

2010-07-25T22:41:00.001-05:00

One year ago today, baby Forest left the breeders, his doggy Mom and Dad, and all his liter-mates, to join a new family.

Wow, truly the best decision we ever made.

*Update* Conversation with Nick after I published this post:

Nick: “Wait a minute, what about when I asked you out? That was a damn good decision.”
Me: “True, but that was your decision, just like saying Yes when you asked me out was my decision. I’m talking about our decision to get Forest, as a couple.”
Nick: “OK…then our decision to buy the new TV was a close second.”

Touché, Nick, touché.

Whoops

2010-07-22T21:54:00.000-05:00

We had a little incident today. After picking Forest up from doggy day-care, I made the slow journey home through rush hour traffic. About half way back to the house, the car in front of me suddenly braked, forcing me to also slam rudely on my brakes. I stopped without hitting anyone, but heard a whoosh from the backseat. I turned around (as I was safely stopped at this point) and found Forest on the floor. Yep, the puppy had slid right off the backseat. To make matters worse, the passenger seat was positioned pretty far back, so Forest was kinda stuck behind it. Traffic started moving again so I couldn't help the wedged puppy, who finally managed to crawl back up onto the seat. The poor doggy hid in the corner, shaking with fear, for the rest of the ride home.

So now I'm contemplating buying a dog seatbelt or restraint. Recently a local car accident made headlines because the car flipped a few times and a doggy passenger was ejected. The hurt puppy ran away from the accident and wasn't found for a few days. I had thought about buying something for Forest then, but Nick reasoned that such an accident was unlikely to occur to us so the purchase was unnecessary. But after today's scare, I think I'm going to have to seriously consider it…

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-07-20T21:54:00.000-05:00

Lordy, this is a lot of hair…it's like Forest's face merged with his torso. Puppy, where's your neck?

Sock Monster

2010-07-19T22:32:00.000-05:00

As I've mentioned before, Forest usually doesn't chew on our stuff, but he LOVES to slobber all over our socks. Forest has found socks in our house that I never knew existed. He always attacks my feet when I try to put on a pair. Forest has even snuck into the guest room and stolen socks out people's luggage.

But I think I may have pinpointed the moment this obsession started. Forest had only been living with us for a few weeks when he found a pair of my socks in the garage. I had recently mowed the grass and my socks were covered in grass and dirt so I tucked them in my mowing shoes and forgot about them. Forest dragged those stinky socks into the yard and drooled over them the entire afternoon.

Nom nom nom...

Action shot - Forest is going to DESTROY this puny sock.

"It's my sock now, understand?"

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-07-17T15:00:00.000-05:00

Forest, honey, I love you, but your big puppy head is blocking Top Chef.

The Adorable Carry-On

2010-07-15T22:44:00.001-05:00

There was a seemingly endless waiting period (about 1 week) between the first phone call with the breeder's when we made a verbal contract to become Forest's new parents, and that wonderful Saturday morning when we brought the puppy home for the first time. I spent most of that week buying dog supplies and freaking out. Although Nick was very emotionally supportive, he was of no physical help during this shopping extravaganza, mostly because he was out of town that week on business. But when he was back in town, he refused to enter a pet store like PetSmart or PetCo because of the whole dog-allergies-might-kill-him detail. Whatever, after researching dog breeds and agonizing over this decision for almost two years, I was more than eager to take on all shopping responsibilities.

A slight distinction for non-dog folks out there: a dog crate and a dog carrier are usually two different items. While a dog crate is used for sleeping and potty training, a dog carrier is used for, you guessed it, carrying the dog. A little puppy has little legs and gets tired easily, so you end up carrying him around a lot. Plus puppies are susceptible to a lot of diseases when they're young, so sometimes you want to take a puppy to a public area but don't want him to run around where he could get infected. Thus, a need for a dog carrier.

Of all the doggy products and accessories I bought, the dog carrier was by far the most difficult item to pick out. Seems simple, right? Just find a small bag with handles and/or strap to carry a puppy around in. I also envisioned carrying Forest onto an airplane one day, so the bag had to meet FDA size regulations. Although most of the bags I found technically met the before-mentioned criteria, they were also either pink or sparkly or had "Sassy Bitch" written on the side. Not really Nick's style.

After searching the internet and visiting several stores, I finally found a plain black bag with mesh sides and both top and side zipper openings. It was the perfect carrier for baby Forest.

Little puppy curled up for a nap in his carrier.

Forest loved playing in his carrier and would often strategically place numerous toys in or next to the carrier for immediate access.

The puppy also loved to chew on the carrier. We considered ourselves very lucky because Forest rarely chewed on anything, so we allowed him this one indulgence.

But soon came the day when the carrier was no longer necessary. Forest has received all of his shots and vaccines so we don't need to worry about isolating him. And although Forest will never been a marathon runner, he can take long walks and doesn't need to be carried any more. So for the last few months, the dog carrier has been locked away in the basement…until this week.

While planning an upcoming trip to Colorado to visit my folks, I started thinking about maybe taking Forest with me. I'm going to fly, and hate the idea of Forest suffering in the luggage compartment, so this trip would require carrying the puppy on the plane. Yay! I just so happened to have bought the perfect carrier less than a year ago. So earlier this week I dug out the carrier to double-check the dimensions before booking my flight.

Carrier size vs. Southwest regulations -> close call but I think the carrier could have fit under the seat. However, Carrier size vs. Full-Grown Doggy size -> no question, Forest is the champ.

Puppy Farts

2010-06-29T21:50:00.000-05:00

Anyone with a dog can back me up here: puppy farts are as sneaky and silent as a ninja. You could be minding your own business, just innocently walking thru the kitchen, when suddenly you stumble into an invisible cloud of doggy gas that makes your eyes sting and your stomach heave. Forest usually doesn't make a sound when he farts so most of the time I have no warning of the God-awful trouble leaking from my puppy's butt. At least doggy poop is visible and can be somewhat contained in a plastic bag. Doggy farts are just an intangible mess.

The last time Nick suffered an encounter with Forest's puppy gas, he sarcastically suggested what I thought was a brilliant invention. We need to strap a machine to Forest's butt so every time he farts it makes a sound and emits a black vapor that clings to the gas particles. That way we'll be warned both visually and audibly that there are puppy farts in the room. Brilliant I say!

Memorial Day Puppy Jail

2010-06-28T21:57:00.002-05:00

We spent the Memorial Day holiday relaxing at the Iowa cabin. As usual, Forest followed Nick or me around most of the weekend. But unfortunately there were a few times when we had to isolate Forest in the screened porch for a half hour or so. For example, when Nick's cousin let her baby play on the living room floor, we were worried Forest would trample the little girl or slobber all over her face (by the way, this baby totally gave Forest some competition in the Most Adorable Center of Attention at the Iowa Cabin contest). We also had to lock the puppy up a few times when he got wet and needed to dry off before jumping all over the furniture. I'll post some pictures later that will explain how he got wet. For now let's just say it involved a lake and a very scared puppy.

Of course, Forest was not happy with his segregation…

"This is so not cool."

"Maybe I can stick my head thru here…"

"Fine then, I'll just lie here looking pitiful until you decide to let me in."

Collar Safety

2010-06-22T22:03:00.002-05:00

One of the puppy-raising books we read had a chapter on collar safety. Its tagline was basically "DANGER! COLLARS CAN HARM OR KILL YOUR DOG, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BE FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS!" They included horror stories of a dog choking when his collars snagged on a crate door, or another dog whose tags got caught in a floor air-vent of all things. So we got all scared like we were supposed to and began following the book's guideline about tightening Forest's collar so that only one or two fingers could squeeze between the collar and his throat.

Apparently the doggy day-care folks are not a fan of our collar policy. Whenever we pick up Forest, his collar is always looser than when we dropped him off. Like fit-your-arm-thru-there loose. I think this passive aggressive behavior is their way of hinting that Forest's collar is too tight. We've come to trust the humans taking care of Forest every day more than the random books we've read, so we decided to stop tightening his collar so much. But this has created a certain problem…

Forest can now reach his tags so he's been chewing on them. At this point you can barely read the rabies info or the phone number on the back of his name tag.

These busted tags are technically the second set he's gone thru. We lost the first rabies and name tags a few months ago during one of our walks. The puppy got really excited about something and pulled as hard as he could on his leash to escape. The ring connecting the tags to his collar broke and the tags got lost in someone's lawn. Now this second set is quickly approaching retirement as well. Dang dog.

1,000 visits!

2010-06-21T18:08:00.001-05:00

Last week, the My Dog Forest blog reached 1,000 visits! Thank you all for taking the time to visit my little site. The puppy and I really appreciate your support :)

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T20:29:00.009-05:00

Unlike my Mother's Day post, I actually planned ahead this time and saved a Daddy-related post for Father's Day. Please don't mistake this as a sign that I'm becoming more responsible, still haven't bought those wedding gifts.

I never thought Forest had a favorite parent. If Nick and I are both puttering around the house, the puppy will usually stick with me. If I'm working in the upstairs office and Nick is watching TV downstairs, Forest will most likely stay with Nick. If the puppy had to choose one of our cars to ride in, he would pick mine (probably because my car is lower to the ground, making it easier for the stubby-legged puppy to get in). But this week Forest made it clear that in a specific situation, Nick is his preferred parental figure.

We had a brief thunderstorm on Thursday. Forest doesn't like the rain, but he usually doesn't make much commotion and has even slept thru storms before. However something about this storm transformed Forest into a total wuss. The puppy huddled in the corner of the kitchen and started shaking. He wouldn't eat any food or drink water. At first we thought he was sick. Then he began following Nick around the house. Forest is a big cuddlier, but he was always suave about it, like "Oh you're sitting on the couch now? I guess I'll just meander on to your lap for a quick nap." But during the storm, Forest was adamant about being as close to Nick as possible. For example, our puppy usually hates sitting in office chairs. He gets all fidgety like he thinks there's not enough room and he's afraid he's going to fall off. On Thursday, Forest was jumping on Nick's legs trying to claw his way up onto the office chair. I tried calling Forest to join me on the couch, but nope, Forest wanted to sit in Dad's lap, screw Mom.

We finally came to the conclusion that the thunder was frightening our puppy. Although Forest loved his Mommy, only Daddy would suffice when Forest was really scared.

So in celebration of Father's Day, here are some pictures of the Dads in Forest's life. Starting, of course, with Forest's Daddy:

Forest's grandfathers, Grandpa Chuck…

…Grandpa Neil...

...and Grandpa John:

Uncle Jason, who kindly acts as Forest's surrogate Dad when we're on vacation:

And finally, Great Uncle Scott:

Happy Father's Day!!!

Worm Jerky

2010-06-19T20:14:00.000-05:00

Our puppy loves to eat dried-up worms off the sidewalk. Sometimes Forest won't even swallow them, he'll just munch on those chewy morsels for a few steps and then spit them out. The puppy doesn't pay any attention to wiggly, live worms. Nope, for some reason he seems to prefer dead ones. When Forest snacks on a withered worm, the term "worm jerky" always comes to mind. Gross.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-06-16T21:14:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the puppy forgets to put his head in his bed.

Uh, Forest, you're doing it wrong.

Forest's Belated Birthday Present

2010-06-15T23:14:00.002-05:00

Forest received a special package mailed all the way from Colorado. Its contents were a birthday card and present! My family is so cute. They probably read about his birthday mishap and felt bad for the puppy. Cause, you know, he's so neglected (slowly lifts gaze to the My Dog Forest blog banner and laughs).

This was an especially awesome present because, well, do I really need a reason? It's a squeaky toy that says Doggie Beer! That just radiates awesomeness. And total bonus points: it doesn't squeak as loudly as Squeaky Hippo. Yay, everyone's happy!

The puppy was fixated on getting the top off. Forest may have observed Nick and I open a couple of beers in his lifetime.

Thank you family!!!

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-06-09T21:53:00.000-05:00

Forest is such a cuddlier. Here he is keeping Nick's lap warm over Memorial Day weekend.

Forest's Pink Ball

2010-06-08T21:24:00.007-05:00

Besides Squeaky Hippo (related video) the Pink Ball is the only toy to have survived one whole year with Forest, the Destroyer of Puppy Toys. Like Squeaky Hippo, the Pink Ball had a brief hiatus (although this one wasn't our fault, the Pink Ball was too large to fit in Forest's little puppy mouth for the first 6 months of his life) but now the Pink Ball is definitely back in the puppy toy rotation.

Time to play!

Now I was mistaken in assuming that the normal process for playing fetch was for the puppy to drop the ball on the ground so I could throw it. But no, Forest doesn't play simple puppy games. Instead, he taunts us with his Pink Ball by shoving it against our legs.

"Hey...Mom....hi...you wanna play?"

"Come on Dad, aren't you a tad interested in this here ball?"

But does the puppy ever relinquish the ball that he seems so eager to share? No. Forest wants us to fight for it.

"Aw, you can pull hard than that, you big wuss."

"Too hard! It's mine!"

Eventually I'll twist the ball out of his mouth and throw the wet toy down the hall. The puppy will scamper after it and we'll go back to playing tug-of-war.

"Pink Ball rocks!"

Please do not tell the color-blind puppy that pink is traditionally regarded as a girlie color. I don't believe in stereotyping colors, but Forest is a little sensitive about his manhood since he got snipped.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-06-03T21:24:00.000-05:00

The first photo I ever took of our little puppy.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-06-02T21:21:00.000-05:00

While cooking dinner last night, I glanced over the counter and found a fuzzy beast sprawled across the kitchen floor. This position just screamed "RUB MY TUMMY!!!"

I don't know how long Forest was posed like this before I noticed him, but the puppy waited patiently, without moving an inch, while I dug the camera out of my purse and snapped a few photos. Damn straight he got his tummy rubbed.

Forest's First Birthday! Kind of…

2010-05-31T23:58:00.005-05:00

Let me be clear from the start: I did not technically forget Forest's birthday. I knew our doggy's birthday was on Sunday, May 30th. The three-day holiday simply confounded my already lame sense of time. Yesterday I thought it was Saturday; and for a few hours this morning, I thought it was Sunday. So I kind of, sort of skipped right over his birthday without officially celebrating it. Whoops :(

If Forest was a child, this would probably be pretty traumatizing for him. But luckily, Forest is an adorable dog with no sense of time.

I took this photo on Saturday, completely oblivious that it would be one of the last pictures ever taken of Forest as a puppy. (But just a FYI for you readers out there: Forest will always be my little puppy, no matter how old he gets, so I will continue to refer to him as such).

So, yeah, happy birthday Forest!

Doggy Bed

2010-05-27T23:56:00.002-05:00

Well crap, I haven't posted in two weeks. Sorry folks, but it's been freaking busy around here. Nick has a new work schedule so I'm now Forest's personal chauffer. Every morning I drop the puppy off at doggy day-care and then pick him up after work. Add that to my daily commute and I'm spending 1.5 to 2 hours in the car every weekday. Yes, yuck. I've considered not taking Forest to doggy day-care at all, but that would mean locking him up in a crate for over 10 hours a day. Not only does that sound like a very unpleasant day for the puppy, it's also unlikely he'll actually last that long (as I unfortunately experienced when I tried to sleep in one weekend).

Further complicating our situation:

a) Things are a tad hectic at the office right now so I need to work longer hours.

b) The typical summer social events have quickly filled up our schedule; consequently, we don't have a completely free weekend until mid-August.

c) I'm maintaining three To Do lists. I have the normal Things To Do list, like buy more dog food. Then there's the Things That Really Should Have Been Done Already list, such as register and implant an identity chip for Forest. And finally the Holy Shit I Can't Believe We Still Haven't Done This list, which luckily doesn't contain any doggy related items (but contains other embarrassing tasks like "buy wedding gifts for the three weddings we've already attend this year." I promise people, those gifts are coming. Not to throw out lame excuses but we've been out of town a lot lately and I easily lose track of time. But yes, I understand that we still suck.)

Fortunately, even with all of this other crap going on in our lives, we still find time to spoil the puppy :) For example, we finally bought Forest his own bed.

Yay, puppy bed!

Forest loves to prop his head up on pillows and blankets, so we picked a bed with rigid sides.

Before we bought the bed, I made sure it was washer-friendly. Some dog beds just have a removable cover or can't be washed at all, but we can stick this entire bed into the washer AND dryer.

I've already washed it once to get all the pet store cooties off it, but if Forest keeps slobbering all over his toys in bed, it's going to need another wash soon.

Doesn't Forest look like a sad, old dog in this photo? He really needed a haircut, and it might have been a little too early for him…

"Um, it's 5:30 in the morning. Give the camera a rest, crazy lady."

A Plethora of Pillows

2010-05-13T22:17:00.002-05:00

Forest is such a pillow hog.

Live From the Kitchen - Squeaky Hippo!

2010-05-11T22:00:00.001-05:00

How many squeaks could the Squeaky Hippo squeak if the Squeaky Hippo was unfortunately taken out of hiding instead of being frozen like an icicle, burned to a sticky puddle, fed to a pack of Dobermans, buried in the foundation, or cut into small pieces? A lot.

For those of you who don't think this is incredibly annoying, imagine trying to watch Fringe during this ruckus. Dang puppy.

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-10T20:44:00.005-05:00

I have a crappy sense of time; close friends and family might even say it's non-existent. For example, I routinely forget what day of the week it is. A "quick" grocery run usually lasts 30 minutes. Last time someone asked me how old I was, I actually had to pause for a moment and think about it. If I tell Nick I'll be ready to go in 5 minutes, he always asks "Is that in real time or Calli time?"

So when I published my last post on Friday, my brain didn't comprehend that Mother's Day was just two days away, making Sunday the perfect day to admit that I refer to myself as Forest's Mommy. And when I finally started working on a real Mother's Day post, I didn't give myself enough time to actually post it on Mother's Day. Sigh. Good thing Forest has no sense of time either.

So in delayed celebration of Mother's Day, here are some pics of Forest's grandmothers and aunt (yes, we have extended our lame reference to include immediate family members. Luckily they find it adorable…or now are a little scared of us and just acting like it's adorable as to not upset the crazy dog couple).

Nick's mom holding little baby Forest.

This photo was taken almost a year ago during the 4^th of July holiday when Nick's family met Forest for the first time I had the fantastic idea to keep Forest a secret until that weekend so he would be a surprise. I am not smart.

My family right before a yummy Thanksgiving dinner (including Dad because I thought it would be weird to cut him out of a family photo, so Happy Mother's Day Poppo!).

My beautiful mother is on the far left and my sister (mother of Leo – see here and here for more) is in the middle holding Forest. The photo is a little blurry because Forest thought this was the perfect moment to give my sister a quick kiss. That's a sly puppy right there.

A belated Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there!

Really wish we'd remember not to do this in public...

2010-05-07T22:19:00.005-05:00

I don't have a clear recollection of how this happened, but I think it started out as a joke. Baby Forest was so similar to a real human baby (no bladder control, threw up regularly, odd eating schedule, kept us up all night, needed constant attention) that Nick and I started referring to each other as his Daddy and Mommy. Yes, I am aware that this is totally lame, but unfortunately it's now habit.

Meet Forest's Daddy:

This is one of the most adorable photos I've ever taken of our puppy. The breeder had turned Forest over to us that morning so we had been puppy owners for maybe one hour. Forest was a tad apprehensive of us and his new surroundings. At one point Nick gently picked him up and cradled the little dog in his arms. Forest rolled those perfect puppy-dog eyes up at Nick, as if inquiring "Are you going to be my new daddy?"

And Forest's Mommy:

A little while ago I posted this photo as my profile picture on Facebook. I could have used the full photo but decided to crop out Forest's nether-regions. Really didn't want people thinking of puppy junk when they saw my Facebook posts.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-05-05T22:32:00.002-05:00

A fuzzy photo from the past…baby Forest getting one of his first tummy rubs from Nick. Cue the "awwwwwwww"s.

Forest, the Ungrateful Puppy

2010-05-04T21:01:00.005-05:00

Nick and I spent a couple thousand bucks building a fence in the backyard for our little puppy (which is crazy right? that money would have been much happier spent at a bar). We envisioned Forest romping around the backyard, pooping wherever and whenever he wanted. We imagined freedom, if only for a few minutes a day. We love Forest, but he's technically still a puppy with daily spurts of ADHD craziness that can get wearisome. We discussed how wonderful it would be if Forest could exert that energy outside, away from wood floors and Squeaky Hippo. So we saved our money, researched fences, called for estimates, paid for a land survey and finally hired a company to build a fence in our backyard. We were convinced Forest would LOVE it.

Instead, we have a very confused puppy.

This looks like a puppy who wants to go outside, right? Maybe roll around in the grass or take a dump. I mean, this is a puppy who's got options.

But no. Forest only wants to go outside if we're going outside. If I don't accompany him, Forest will just sit by the door, looking all pathetic.

The first time this happened, I figured it was just withdrawal. Nick or I have always escorted Forest outside, so either our puppy was lonely or thought he was going to get in trouble. But the emotional tether this puppy has to us must be constructed out of steel.

Side rant: We live in a split-level house so the kitchen is on the second floor and leads out onto the back porch with a staircase down to the lawn. Our house is kinda on a hill, so the porch is pretty high up. It actually has one set of stairs, then a landing, then another set of stairs to the lawn. When we first bought the house, the porch didn't have any stairs. How stupid is that? We had to pay extra money to build stairs so we could access the backyard from our back porch! Total scam :(

So if I relent and walk out onto the porch, Forest will venture to the top of the stairs and then wait. If I walk to the top of the stairs and he's feeling adventurous, he might go down to the landing by himself, but most of the time Forest won't stray more than a few feet from me. I literally have to guide him down both sets of stairs and stand on the grass before he'll play in the backyard. This is totally NOT what we had in mind when we paid extensive amounts of moolah for a fence.

Action shot of Forest butting his nose against the screen door trying to get inside. This is equivalent to a high-tech force field for him.

I've tried shutting the back door and ignoring him, but he'll just whimper and scratch at the glass. One time I left Forest out there for 20 minutes and hid in another room, but he still just moped around the door. Anybody have any ideas on how to acclimate Forest to his new freedom? Or did we wait too long to build a fence and are forever stuck with a clingy puppy?

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-05-03T22:16:00.001-05:00

Now that the snow has melted, you can clearly see the spots on our front lawn where Forest habitually relived himself during the winter months. Perhaps peeing on the driveway wasn't such a bad habit after all…

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-04-28T20:48:00.003-05:00

R.I.P. Mr Octopus

When my folks gave Forest his Christmas present, I doubted it would last a week. But Mr Octopus has far exceeded my expectations and survived almost 5 months. That's ancient in puppy years. I'm really going to miss this red dude, he kept Forest occupied for like, minutes (again, that's a long time in puppy years).

I may start praying to the fence gods…

2010-04-27T22:54:00.005-05:00

Because the new fence that was just erected in our yard will probably save both my sanity and physical wellbeing.

The first month or so we owned Forest, he never strayed more than a few feet from our side. It was adorable to watch him scramble after us with his stubby little puppy legs. Then one day, I was supervising his potty break when suddenly Forest ran towards the trash bags and recycling bin placed at the curb. I had never before seen him move so quickly in the opposite direction of a human being and was momentarily paralyzed with surprise. The next few moments could have easily been stolen from some cheesy Disney movie. The lovable puppy playfully leaps around the trash bags, unwittingly meandering into the street, directly in the path of an oncoming car. The beautiful, young dog owner sees the impending disaster and sprints across the yard with outstretched arms. Shouting a heart-wrenching "NOOOOOOOOOO" she throws herself in front of the car, heroically shielding the puppy with her own frail body. The car squeals to a stop, thus narrowly preventing a tragedy.

Unfortunately this totally happened to me. And it was my next-door neighbor driving the car so she easily identified the crazy lady jumping in front of her car as me. Luckily she's a cop and has great reflexes.

So if you've been paying attention, you'll notice that most of the outdoor photos posted on this blog fall into three categories: very young puppy off leash because we didn't know any better, mid-sized puppy on leash because I was totally paranoid he'd get squished by a car, and older puppy off leash again because, well, Nick made me. If it was totally up to me Forest would still be on a leash whenever he left our house, but Nick has convinced me that the puppy has matured and will most likely behave. And to Nick's credit Forest has done a pretty good job and coming when I call him…except for yesterday.

Monday was my birthday but I've been sick for like a week and didn't feel like doing much celebrating. I took the day off work, slept in, puttered around, got a massage and then settled into lazy-bum mode which consisted of comfy clothes, ice cream and an X-Files marathon. At one point I let Forest outside to do his business in the front yard and watched in dismay as he started barking like crazy and then dashed across the driveway. I peered out the front door and saw a young man walking a big dog (it was like a tall, white boxer?) down our sidewalk. I started screaming "COME FOREST COME!!!" but my little puppy happily ignored me and ran straight towards the other dog. I was contemplating my options when I saw a SUV driving way too fast down the road towards our house. Forest was all giddy to see another dog and was bouncing around in the grass like he might go flying into street at any moment, so I had no choice but to go running after him. I had no shoes on, my makeup was almost all smeared off from the massage and I had officially reverted to comfy clothes so I was sans bra. I held my arms over my chest as I ran (hopefully this was a totally sly move that nobody noticed), hoarsely yelling at my damn dog to get away from the stranger and back in the house. Forest decided that was a perfect time to forget all his training and refused to listen to my commands or even look at me. I had to pick Forest up and carry the squirming puppy back into the house, all while apologizing to the stranger (who coincidently commented that it was no problem, he just wanted to make sure Forest didn't run into the street, thus confirming my worst fears). This was perhaps not my finest moment.

In other words, I love this freaking fence.

Forest got to experience the fenced in yard for the first time this afternoon.

"Uh, what the hell is that?"

"So you're saying this is all mine now?'

"Hell yeah it's mine, I OWN this yard."

"Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"

"I could poop there, or here, or over in that spot...so many choices!"

"This fence is awesome!"

Fuzzy Photo of the Day - Updated

2010-04-26T21:17:00.009-05:00

I'm sick and exhausted, but it's my birthday and I haven't posted in awhile, so here's a fuzzy photo.

"Screw chairs and toys, I sleep where I want to sleep."

Update – To clarify, I did not position the chair or toys around him. Those items were already in place when the puppy decided it was time for a nap.

Little Leo

2010-04-19T22:25:00.009-05:00

I visited my family in Colorado over Easter and got to spend some more time with Forest's little cousin, Leo. I had a wonderful vacation, but I think Leo may have had a rough holiday. His troubles began before I even arrived (so he can't directly blame me for this) when he got an outdoorsy bath. Apparently somebody was a stinky doggy…

Who needs a bathtub when you have a bucket and hose?

Some dogs like being in water...other dogs are like Leo, just pissed.

Photo proof that Leo is related to Forest, just look at that licky puppy!

During my vacation I discovered that Leo is still spunky to the core, but he's learned to hone his hyperness. For example, he used to be run-around-jump-on-furniture crazy, but now he's more like when-you-at-least-suspect-it-I'm-going-to-eat-your-foot type of crazy. Seriously, I have bite marks on my toes from that damn dog. So when we drove out to my folk's new place, Leo had to spend some time in his carrier crate while we took a tour of the house. He was not happy with this...

"Why did you put me in a freaking pink crate?"

"I'm ready to get out now please."

We thought Leo would like the dog-run at my parent's new place, but he only ran around for a few minutes before sulking at the gate.

He's like a prairie dog on guard duty..

"Who goes there?"

We kinda threw Leo off his regular eating schedule with all our comings and goings that weekend. Leo still ate all his meals, but not always at the standard times.

When Leo's hungry, he drags his dinner bowl around and throws it at you.

Subtle puppy, subtle.

But I did find one scenario where the little mutt seemed to have an advantage. While Forest only has a designated puppy blanket, Leo has a designated puppy throne:

"MINE, fuck off."

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-04-16T21:57:00.004-05:00

People, do your dogs ever just lay around the kitchen airing out their junk? Is this normal?

I see no need for this, but I guess I shouldn't pass judgment too quickly as I don't own the same hardware (but then again, technically Forest is only showing off half of his original assembly, sorry puppy!). The fact that the groomers shave Forest's under-regions is not helping this situation. Since he's a dog I can't refer to it as "manscaping" …is "dogscaping" the term I should be using here?

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-04-15T22:09:00.004-05:00

Forest is almost always adorable, but when his ears flip over and get stuck like this, it's just weird. It looks like he has alien antennas growing out of his head. The puppy needs a headband or a few barrettes to keep his ear flaps down.

Forest + Squeaky Hippo = Love

2010-04-14T19:45:00.013-05:00

We refer to one of Forest's doggy toys as the Squeaky Hippo because Fucking Annoying Dog Toy That Makes Our Ears Bleed is just too long for casual conversation.

It is the epitome of squeaky dog toys, so much so that a few months ago Nick placed Squeaky Hippo above our entertainment center where Forest couldn't see or reach it.

Squeaky Hippo sat there for so long that I was worried people might think it was actually part of our décor, so last night I took it down. I was about to hide the toy somewhere else when I remembered how much Forest used to enjoy playing with it. "He would be so happy to see it again," I thought. "Besides, it's just a cheap toy, we're probably remembering the sound to be much more annoying than it really is."

"YAY! My hippo is back!"

I was so very, very wrong. During the months that Squeaky Hippo sat dormant above our TV, Forest grew to almost full-size and developed a much stronger bite. That damn hippo is just as irritating as we remembered it being, plus Forest can now chomp down on it harder and faster than before.

But I feel guilty about taking it away again; Forest LOVES Squeaky Hippo, and he's just so damn cute with it.

So we're implementing a time limit on their play sessions. Last night Forest got to drool over Squeaky Hippo for approximately 7 minutes before Nick threatened to burn it.

"Yum, tasty hippo."

Forest's Hawkeye Bandana

2010-04-12T22:09:00.003-05:00

Forest is an Iowa Hawkeye puppy at heart, but as I've mentioned before, Nick and I are not fulfilling all of our responsibilities as Hawkeye parents. Yes, we've spent oodles of money on food, boarding and classes, but Forest is seriously lacking in Hawkeye merchandise. Luckily Nick spotted this Hawkeye bandana for sale at the vet's office. And total bonus, proceeds go to charity! (I don't remember which charity but it had something to do with animals, in a good way, so yay!)

The collar slips thru a hole in the fabric so no matter how much the puppy may struggle, it can't come off. *evil laugh: Muu haa haaa haaaa haaaa!*

I was worried Forest would freak out while wearing it, but surprisingly it doesn't seem to bother him.

"How do I look from this angle? Still adorable?"

"Yep, I'm totally rocking this thing."

What happens when I try to sleep in on a Saturday

2010-04-10T17:24:00.001-05:00

Today has not been a good day in puppy-land. Nick and I have a sound machine sitting next to the bed that plays "soothing" noises which are supposed to help us sleep (it has almost 30 different sounds; I think we've only ever used five of them, max). This morning I woke up not to "White Noise" but to the sound of a little doggy peeing on the carpet. So I jumped out of bed and started yelling "NO" and "BAD DAG" in a deep, scary, trying-to-imitate-a-pissed-off-Nick voice. Forest actually made eye contact with me but continued to do his business on the carpet! And it wasn't like a little squirt, he had a jet stream of doggy pee coming out of him, and the whole time I was yelling at him, all I could think was "Damn, that's a lot of pee." I can only assume that I slept in too late and Forest REALLY had to go, so even though the puppy knew he wasn't supposed to potty inside, he had no choice. That thought made me feel sort of bad for yelling at him, but not bad enough to stop me from locking him in his crate while I cleaned up the mess.

I'm not a morning person to begin with, so toss waking up early to clean puppy pee on that and I'm really not pleasant to be around. But as I let Forest outside to finish up (I doubted he had anything left after the mini reservoir he created in our bedroom but he proved me wrong by pooping on the lawn) and then dragged my ass around to make coffee and breakfast, I tried to keep reminding myself that Forest's a good dog and the accident this morning was kind of my fault.

About an hour later I had forgiven the puppy and decided to take him for a walk. We got about a block away from the house when he pooped on a neighbors' lawn. No problem, I used a plastic bag to clean up his mess, walked back to the house to drop off the goody-bag, and we started off again. We got almost two blocks away when Forest took another dump, although this time it was a little, um, liquidy. All right, fine, it was a tad more difficult to clean up but I wasn't going to leave puppy diarrhea on our neighbors' lawn. We walked back to the house again, and then started our walk for the third time. We got about halfway around the neighborhood when Forest stopped to go #2 for the third time in 15 minutes and the fourth time that day. And this last poop, dear God, it was terrible.

Flashback to Thursday night. Forest was playing with his rope toy when he suddenly started making gagging noises. I pried own his open his jaws, felt around his mouth with my finger, and pulled out a piece of string that had come off his toy. A few minutes later, I found him chewing on another piece. He was eating his rope toy! This was very bad. As silly as it sounds, string is dangerous for dogs. I guess it can get wrapped around their intestine or something, making the dogs sick or even killing them. So I plucked all the loose strings from his toy and kept a close eye on him for the rest of the night. When I took Forest to doggy day-care the next day, I was relieved to know that someone would be around to watch him in case he got sick. I wondered how long it would take a piece of string to hurt a puppy or pass thru his system.

Well today I got an answer to my second query: it takes less than 48 hours for rope string to go from puppy mouth to puppy butt, and the end product is extremely disturbing. When Forest finished taking his fourth dump this morning, I saw a clump of poop just dangling from his butt. After a lot of cussing, I got closer to try to clean it up. That's when I discovered that the poop wasn't stuck to his fur, it was actually stuck to a piece of string that had not been fully dispelled from the puppy anus. After a lot more cussing, I found a stick and was able to scrape the rest of the poop and string out of his butt.

That fun activity officially killed my walking spirit and we quickly went home. Before I let him inside the house, I tried to clean Forest's backside with some paper towels and found another piece of string protruding from his a-hole! Somehow I got the brilliant idea that if I pulled the string out right away, poop wouldn't have a chance to get caught on it and we wouldn't have a dangling poop incident again. So I bent down close, making sure that I breathed thru my mouth, grabbed a hold of the string and pulled. Out popped the rope string with a mid-size turd clinging to the end of it like a grotesque lollipop. I'll admit it, I almost threw up.

So I've spent the majority of this beautiful Saturday letting Forest out every hour or so to fertilize our grass. It's starting to taper off now, so I can only hope that he'll be able to get thru the night without messing up his crate (and himself in the process) and that perhaps tomorrow, I'll wake up to my alarm clock instead of any other surprises.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-04-09T07:21:00.018-05:00

A thirsty puppy gazes hopefully at Nick's beer...

"No really, alcohol is totally safe for dogs. Look, I'll just open real wide and you can pour it right in. Come on, help a puppy out!"

When the puppy decides not to cooperate…

2010-04-08T20:18:00.003-05:00

"Um, why did you put Mr. Octopus on my butt?"

"Ha ha, I knocked him off and ruined your photo." *blows doggy raspberry*

"You guys are so immature."

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-04-07T19:19:00.001-05:00

Today's fuzzy photo is brought to you by the letter "L".

As in, "I Love this puppy" and "Damn, that's a Licky dog" or " Oh Lordy, don't Look, he's Licking his butt again!"

Forest's First Hailstorm

2010-04-06T21:36:00.009-05:00

A big thunderstorm is passing thru, randomly dumping rain and hail. Forest is not liking the thunder and lightning, but he's loving the hail. I let our puppy go outside during a pause in the madness.

"Uh, what are these?"

He was thrilled to find frozen rain all over the ground.

"Yay, just like ice cubes! Nom nom nom"

Holy smokes, Forest is so happy he's smiling!!!

Playing with Beagles

2010-04-04T17:03:00.007-05:00

Recently Forest played with Brenda and Bret's two beagles, Maggie and Murphy. It was a short play date because all the humans were tired (it was Friday night but we had worked all day, had just eaten lots of Mexican food and had been drinking for at least 5 hours – I won't use the "we're getting old" as an excuse just yet). The doggies played well together; we only had one snarling, biting, "I'm going to eat your face off" moment where they actually fought for 30 seconds before we broke it up. Plus Brenda and Bret have a fenced in yard so Forest was delighted to run around outside off leash.

I know Maggie is a few years old and I think Murphy is technically still a puppy…but I don't remember who is who in these photos (sorry Brenda!).

Forest bopping one of the beagles on the head. "Tag, you're it mother f*cker!"

Forest's a ninja when it comes to stealing toys from other dogs. Here he's using his kung fu skills to slip away with a beagle bone. Anybody know how to fix weird puppy eyes in a photo like this? He looks trippy.

I think this is Murphy howling the beagle battle-cry before pouncing on Forest.

OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY PUPPY? I think he's having a doggy stroke.

I took a video of the dogs playing together. Let's see if my meager computer skills will allow me to successfully attach the file for your viewing pleasure…

"I love beagles."

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-03-31T22:00:00.007-05:00

The puppy got a much needed haircut today. The groomers even put a little bow on his collar, which Nick hates. He thinks bows are girly, but this one is a nice black and white number with little paw prints. Only a tough puppy like Forest could handle a bow like this.

(Winter) iPhone Puppy

2010-03-30T21:01:00.010-05:00

In honor of the beautiful weather, I've decided it's time to replace the snowy photo that's been my iPhone desktop for a couple of months, as adorable as it may be...

This is the full-sized photo I cropped for my iPhone desktop. Nick was helping his brother Jason shovel his driveway in Iowa while Forest played in the snow.

That Iowa snow pile is taller than our puppy. Missouri has had some crappy weather this year but we can't complain to any of our Iowa family members (spoilsports).

Now I just need a spring-time photo of Forest running thru a field of wildflowers or pausing next to a trickling stream.

Puppy Blankets

2010-03-29T22:10:00.004-05:00

We own a few blankets that have been officially designated as "dog blankets" (I've watched Forest throw up and potty on those blankets far too often to use them for anything else). One of the blankets is always laid out on the kitchen floor, kind of like a safe zone for Forest. Our puppy has a difficult time sitting or maneuvering himself on the hardwood floors in the kitchen. He'll just be sitting there and suddenly one of his legs will start sliding out from beneath him, then another one will slowly glide away. Sometimes he'll continuously correct his posture, but most of the time he'll give up and use the momentum to plop down onto the floor. Forest likes lying on the kitchen blanket when he's playing, chewing on something or wants to take a nap.

A few nights ago Forest decided to play with the blanket instead of just on the blanket.

The puppy pushed it around the floor with his nose.

He crawled under it.

He flipped on his back and pulled it up over himself.

And then somehow Forest manged to stand up with the blanket draped around him like a cape and took a little stroll around the kitchen.

Super Puppy!

But all of that moving around and smashing his head into the blanket severely poofed up his facial hair.

It's a puppy beard!

Action shot of Forest shaking his head in an attempt to fix his beard.

Might be time for the puppy to get a haircut.

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

2010-03-28T23:25:00.002-05:00

UFC Puppy

Nick put up a hell of a fight but was eventually dominated.

my dog forest

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Really wish we'd remember not to do this in public...

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Forest, the Ungrateful Puppy

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

Fuzzy Photo of the Day

I may start praying to the fence gods…

Fuzzy Photo of the Day - *Updated*

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Fuzzy Photo of the Day

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Forest's Hawkeye Bandana

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Fuzzy Photo of the Day

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Fuzzy Photo of the Day - Updated